Thursday, September 26, 2013
When I first got back into this a few days ago, I saw that my profile said I was a "temporarily derailed dissertator." Boy, that's how I defined myself. No wonder I took time off. Nothing has held me back more than thinking I'd get around to that again sooner or later. For some reason, when I got back, I only took out the word "temporarily". Yes, I didn't finish that dissertation. No, I'm not going to. I might write something eventually, other than Facebook posts and this thing. But I recently found that writing something for anthropologists was really rough on me. At first, it was exciting, then daunting, then paralyzing. So I clearly have a lot of work to do on that, psychologically. So, no. I'm not going to define myself as a failure, which is what that sounded like. If I write something, it probably won't be for peer review. I love anthropology, I love my area(s) of study, and I would have loved the dissertation at one point. Actually, I love writing. But the big F in Failure looms large and I don't want it to get me again. I'm successful at what I do, in whatever way I choose to define that, and that's that. Hah!