OK, I know this is not deep, but I watch a hella lot of TV, so it gets to me after awhile.
So, like, there are these ads for some hotel -- Marriott Renaissance suites or something -- that seems to be telling you that it's the preferred hotel of circus performers. So, really, go crazy! You might as well. The ceilings are maybe 20 feet tall, the curtains are on indestructable tracks that cross the entire ceiling, and they're strong enough to hold an adult. In the case of the ad, it's some zombi-fied woman in her bra, who has a big black stripe down her abdomen, who gets some sort of autoerotic kick out of tangling herself up in the fabric and pushing off from the wall. So, hell, if she can do it, why not your six-year-old? Or maybe you and your husband. Looks strangely mind-numbing, so tie your kids to the drapes and push 'em around. That'll calm 'em down.
And then, yeah, you can do hand stands and eat fruit off your foot. If you're into that kind of thing.
Next door, the elephant trainer is teaching Jumbo how to use the remote check-out.