Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Cranky and in pain

So the Metabolic Fitness group met for the second time last night.  There was exercise first, then a lecture on selecting nutritious food at the grocery store.  I have a miserable cold, so I wasn't in the mood.  I got there early, though, and started doing my regular workout at that point.  I didn't know -- no one told me! -- that we were going to transition to a group round-robin strength training thing.  I was under the impression that this was going to be geared toward individuals' abilities, but I didn't feel this was, and I pulled all sorts of muscles in weird ways, because there was no time to say that I needed some more time to do something, or that my knees can't handle certain things ... anyway, the upshot for me is that I'm achy and in some pain today, as was my fear about this stuff anyway, and that I need to spend some time doing a CBT process on the whole thing so that I can gain back some enthusiasm.  One of the ways I think I'm going to deal with this is by going back to the gym tomorrow morning, doing the regular workout that I've been doing (increasing time on each machine each time), and then doing at least one or two of the strength-training exercises each time so that I can get better acquainted with them and find out, in my own time, what my current limitations are, so that -- in the midst of the group thing -- I'm not surprised or trying to push beyond my pain threshold.  That, I think, will give me more confidence and, I hope, help me feel stronger faster.

So I was cranky, and sick, and sitting in the nutrition lecture wishing I were anywhere else.  Preferably at home eating something, I suppose, watching TV, going to bed early ...

I really wanted to wallow in self-pity last night.  I wanted to eat something that wouldn't make me feel better.  An interesting situation.  Everyone else seemed to be doing so much better than me, and I felt self-conscious.  I was so glad to think this was going to be individualized, and suddenly I'm tossed into a group thing, and it brought me back to all those godawful sadistic high school gym classes.  But, of course, this is not that thing.  This is really staffed by people who care about making us healthier.  My feeling about last night is changeable.  I'm going to have to go through those cognitive distortions and see what self-defeating thoughts I'm having, and change those.  I know that this will all make me feel better eventually, if it hasn't yet.  The one thing that I have had is enthusiasm.  Having a cold doesn't help, though; it really dampens everything else.  These days, the powers that be don't want their employees staying home when they're sick, so there's no chance to rest and recover.  So I suppose I have an overall crankiness at the moment.  But this shall pass.  By class next week, I'll be ready, and I'll know what to expect, and I'll have figured out how to get enthusiasm back.  Meanwhile, a trip to the chiropractor may be called for!

No comments: